shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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