Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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