Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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