I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize