I'm really into asian looking animals
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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