just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
