she looked like the before picture.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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