$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
