btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
