wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
