omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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