A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize