He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize