420 ftw
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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