We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
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