8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
