Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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