what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
