so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
