he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
