Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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