I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the day after is always just damage control
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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