Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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