Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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