a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
