sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
