Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
