Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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