i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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