Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
