You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
