thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
