you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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