he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
