I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Less talking, more tequila
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
