there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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