We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
