You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
