I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
