I look better un-naked...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He has the fingertips of a God
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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