No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
