Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
