Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
