I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
