I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
