you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
