Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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