Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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