Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
