I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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