I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
