We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
