i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
