I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
