How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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