It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, he came in my armpit
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize
