Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
