and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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