Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize