I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
