shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
