tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
