on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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