thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
