FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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