Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
