I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
