hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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