i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
