I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so let's talk penis.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
