Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
