it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Damn victory sex feels great
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
