his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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