She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
