weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
