Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
