shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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