Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
