that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
