She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
