Three words: puerto rican gang bang
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
