The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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