do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
