he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
