there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
